Would someone at a late night talk show please hire me already!?!?!?!?
[UPDATE: Yes I know there’s a typo in the last joke. This is why I’ll never be as funny as Leno.]
Would someone at a late night talk show please hire me already!?!?!?!?
[UPDATE: Yes I know there’s a typo in the last joke. This is why I’ll never be as funny as Leno.]
“Does this sound like a good course, Modern American Poetry? Or, let’s see now… Maybe I should take introduction to the novel.”
“Just don’t take any course where they make you read Beowulf.”
—Annie Hall
“The next night some friend of [Lenny Kaye] said, ‘You guys should come down to this club on Oxford Street and see this band, the Sex Pistols.’ So we get down there and it’s like this dive—floors swimming in beer, and kind of grungy-looking people—not like punks, just sort of like ugly seventies people.”
—Jay Dee Daugherty [from Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk]
Me talking about my manuscript Horse Poems following a reading at California Institute of the Arts in March 2011.
Four more poems from my manuscript Horse Poems will be published in The Associative Press, which is very exciting, and a much better experience than the time I was set to be published in the Dissociative Press. They claimed my submission didn’t really exist and instead published the poems they received telekinetically from the man who’d been following them in the white van.
“World War II was the watershed. Since then, there has never been a fixed American poetry canon. What Irving Ehrenpreis pronounced ‘The Age of Lowell,’ was known to others as the Age of Charles Olson. Or the Age of Frank O’Hara […] At this point, the lack of consensus about the poetry of the postwar decades has led not, as one might have hoped, to a cheerful pluralism animated by noisy critical debate about the nature of lyric, but to the curious closure exemplified by the Dove anthology. Today’s poetry establishment—Robert Pinsky and Robert Hass, Louise Glück and Mark Strand, all of them former poets laureate—command a polite respect but hardly the enthusiasm and excitement that greeted and continue to greet such counterparts of the previous generation as O’Hara.”
What do other countries call WWI and II?
They shoot pornos, don’t they?
TO ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE WHO READ CHRIS KRAUS
[I cannot particularly stand by these lyrics from a feminist standpoint but I think it’s worthy to note that Ghost’s heart is in the right place, and also that all these rhymes are (from a formal standpoint) “tight.”]
Her name was Kim, this light skinned girl from Shaolin Stood by my side when my world was caved in She cooked for me, fix me up, plus made me happy Every time she told me she loved me, I said “no baggage” Since I was fucked up in the game, migranes No money in my pockets, all I had was the chain Fourty-five feelings, they got some beef I threw the heat to my dome She said “If you shoot, you ain’t the real Pretty Tone” Baby, come home, you not alone, be strong whether right or wrong Our bond is even more stronger when the light is gone Say, “Yo, Starks relax, you know I got the hot water runnin Baby, oil you down, pot’s in the oven” And my lovin’? It’s gone when they style old fashion And, a, don’t worry bout that jam, you gonna smash ‘em Whose asking, your time has come Stay focused, keep it cool, you know I love you Love you too, babe, thank you
The more I drowned, the more down he went As if to say, them other chicks wasn’t meant When she came through, by every square inch possible Help the kid get on out, every obstacle Long talks at night, arguments and still try’nna solve Whether who is right, we mad tight And the way she, never call the cops on a nigga Got me, open, even more on her with her bangin’ body My favorite sweetheart, cum, but don’t ever stop Your love, give me every drop, you kiss get’s me very hot Never felt feelings before, and felt so sure Every time you put it on me, I fiend for more Think that’s the reason why, can’t leave, can’t lie Look you dead in the eye Word to fuck up, like Ralph, baby, your the greatest I’mma sell my guns, and with the cash I’mma bring you to Vegas
Uh… you got it
I was down in the sea of love Going down to a clear cloud You came and saved me dear It’s too bad you didn’t do it, I ain’t never been used to it The way we stopped them, dear (stopped them dear)
To all the ladies who love they man Though they fuck up, and you still let them back in Make some noise if you cook and you clean for ‘em Out of love, doing juks for them To all my niggaz who love a girl with good brains on ‘em Baggin’ to get your name tattoed on ‘em Kiss ‘em in the morning, hold ‘em, definetly show ‘em We got our crab down, packed when it’s time to mold ‘em
top 5 most useful majors:
- old money
- president
- wall street broker
- media conglomerate CEO
- being good friends w/ jay-z
misremembered the first line of “dream song 14” as “life is disappointing, my friends.”
attn: importantthingsyouown.
prepare to have hand sanitizer dumped on you, motherfuckers.
Carmen Rios
2011-2012 Director of American University Women’s Initiative
Contributing Editor at Autostraddle
Founder of the...
+ wow is this a chris brown song, this sucks
+ why is chris brown still relevant
+ didn’t chris brown punch...
worst haircut experience of my life today: